My wife and I care for my parents in our home.
Both showed signs of dementia and other health issues in late 2016 requiring full-time assistance.
Thankfully we had the financial capacity to build a guest house to ADA specs.
Most importantly, I have a wife who, like in poker, is “all in” with me and our marriage.
After losing my father in January 2022, we moved my mother into the main home so she would not be alone.
Dementia is not gradual. It is a stair step where you see significant changes from one day to the next.
This week has been that stair step.
It takes a toll when your mother calls you and your wife names, calls the kids ‘hotel workers,’ and is nasty to the visiting therapists and nurses.
Mix that with five new business assignments and a very tough deal closing in process; you have to get your bearings straight.
Here’s how:
- Communicate – I’m glad I’m a terrible liar. My wife can see right through the “Nothing is wrong” responses and gets to the root of my feelings.
A quick vent and a hug with her make a difference between losing the day to resentment or remembering why you have the privilege to care for you parent.
- Exercise – Swimming and hiking have been my saving grace. I can lose myself and anything that is bothering me.
- Don’t Take It Personally – If you’ve ever been to a dementia support group, you first learn that dementia patients get a hall pass.
Want to watch a funny story? Here’s more about an experience on dementia I had with my parents:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFkUcXI4nQk
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