Shame and Rage Goal Setting

Shame and Rage Goal Setting

Notes on the My First Million “How To Set Goals For Lazy People | Goal Setting 101” Podcast Episode

@Shaan Puri and @Sam Parr, the guys at @My First Million Podcast, discussed Goals and Anti-Goals in their recent episode, “How To Set Goals For Lazy People | Goal Setting 101.”

Here are my notes.

Sam is a former Division 1 athlete and organized. His method includes:

·         Asking deep questions to understand the goal you are after

·         Write things down

·         Just do it.

·         His Twitter profile notes his monthly goal

Shaan is admittedly lazy, without discipline and willpower. He offered the procrastinator’s perspective:

1.       Vision Board

a.       Financial Goal – Do the math and add it up to create a goal on how much money you need to make

b.       Get a picture of the dream house

                                                               i.      Gives a feeling and set of assumptions to motivate him

2.       Floor and Ceiling (Range) of Goals

a.       Floor – The minimum that it will feel like a win. Instead of writing a goal and then became a berating experience and feeling disappointed.

                                                               i.      The floor method is how Shaan got MFM #manifestcowboys off the ground.

b.       Ceiling – “F-Yeah!” Win!

                                                               i.      Growing to a respectable number of people listening to MFM.

3.       Easy to set a goal and forget the trappings

a.       Goals / Anti-Goals – Andrew Wilkinson

b.       Example – Become a consultant – make big money – but never home to see your kids grow-up

                                                               i.      See my post “How I Recovered 9,400 Hours of My Life by Being Intentional.”

4.       Identify the Anti-Goal Up Front and plan for it

a.       Sam – Understand the sacrifice you are making and communicate it.

                                                               i.      Told his then-girlfriend, now wife, he was making the business a priority versus vacations, spending money, and even time together.

5.       In Your Face Daily

a.       Most write down the goal when inspired, but never create the infrastructure to make the goal happen.

b.       See the goal daily

c.       Shaan puts a reminder in Slack – “My goal is to “X” this week”

                                                               i.      He does it for himself and now his team.

                                                             ii.      Goals for the week.

6.       Tip of your Tongue Guest

a.       If you can’t say what you’re going for, you’re not clear enough about it.

b.       Not giving yourself a chance to succeed.

c.       Give it a specific time element

                                                               i.      I’m going to do “X” by this date

d.       Sam likes to shame, rage, and guilt himself into making things happen. He loves anger because it gives an emotion to drive you. As @wolfejosh said, “Chips on shoulders put chips in pockets.”

e.       Shaan used his own psychology against you but felt it made the process unpleasant. Sam feels Shaan is emotionally stable and happy. Sam had an unstable childhood so needs the shame.

                                                               i.      I understand Sam and Shann’s perspective. I used my unstable childhood to get to adult stability.

f.        Belief drives action – If you believe someone will buy your product or service, you will pick up the phone and make the sale.

                                                               i.      Massive action brings a good result and more action.

                                                             ii.      Timid action brings shitty results and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

                                                           iii.      Shaan doesn’t move until his belief is super high.

7.       Baby Goals or Giggle Steps

a.       Atomic Habits by James Clear missed the most important thing:

                                                               i.      Floss your teeth every day.

                                                             ii.      Start with something that will make you giggle

                                                           iii.      Put a piece of floss next to your sink and do a single tooth

1.       Makes you laugh

8.       Revise up or Abort Down/Eject from the Plane

a.       When things get hard, people compromise the goal – you don’t fail but don’t succeed, either.

b.       Revise Up – My goal can be bigger than I thought!

c.       Abort Down / Eject from the Plane – Now that we have given it our all and we know it isn’t going to work because of the new information, change the goal completely or end it so you don’t become mediocre.

Last word on Financial goals – Your lifestyle creeps up if you can’t or don’t want to be disciplined. Shaan went from $200-300K/Year to more today.

Sam remembers when they were still coming up, Shaan thought a $6MM net worth was enough. He thought he was right, but Lorenzo told him, “You’re wrong! Even with target returns on that $6MM compounds, can you really live off of that compound interest to be financially free?” Now the number is closer to $10-11MM and the aspirational number is $25MM+.

Sam thought if he hit certain financial or physical goals, he thought he would have to create a harder goal. But it came down to chasing the goal – he has to keep moving. It won’t change anything. The excitement is the chase.

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